well it's been a while, and we're still so close to crying most days. ally keeps making pictures/balloons etc into puppies to give greg as "he really misses his dog mummy"; on the drive to school one day last week she exclaimed "i have a brilliant idea, lets get daddy a puppy for his birthday - it must be a spaniel!" hmmm. i don't know if greg will last that long.
last night we took one of greg's specialties next door for dinner - pasta from scratch with a lamb/peri peri mince and fresh bread. talking about bogart reduced us both to tears - yes it was the right decision - just picturing him so scared when he'd gone blind in the last couple of days made me so sad. greg visited him today at the block - his garden is growing beautifully so i'm so pleased about that.
thanks for your kind comments too - i really appreciate them
it's very difficult coming home from driving ally to school and there's no doggy to greet me we go down stairs to hang up the laundry and he's not there wanting to toss some meat scraps out the door reaching to turn on the outside light so he can see closing the door to keep him out of the house (it's a rental) i think the hardest part is knowing i'll never lose my fingers in his soft fur again that and i keep picturing him laying at the bottom of the hole
greg and i grieve so differently - we see death differently so we cope in different ways - i kept stroking and talking to bogart at the vet, even after he'd gone and the whole time we prepared his grave. where as greg really didn't want to look at him as to greg he was gone the moment the anaesthetic took effect (poor bogart was then transported wrapped in a blanket in the car boot). there is no wrong or right way to grieve. so i'm not saying he's wrong. just different. i think our methods may prolong the others grief 'though.
ally drew him in her visual diary at school yesterday - so she could look at him if she missed him at school - she wrote my puppe did (my puppy died). she's coping really well - though a little concerned for all our well being. theo says doh doh doh as we went down the steps yesterday - i was teaching him how to say dog. greg and i both cry. i guess it will get less each day.
dogs are so unconditional. greg told one of his workmates last week that bogart was always happy to see him when he got home from work - but that he couldn't guarantee i was - smile. i AM always happy to see him, however i do get cranky and you know what spaniels just don't do cranky!!!
oh well must off and feed theo thanks for letting me indulge my grief a bit karen
my first "grey" hair - actually it's not grey it's devoid of colour so more like white - i've pulled it out and stuck it up on the fridge - along side family pics, kids drawings, shopping lists etc - most homes of young families use the fridge like "the pool room" distinguished i am!
bogart has been buried at our new block of land with a norfolk pine tree and lavendar garden with an extra large sprinkling of cow manure, his ball, food dish and lead. he has been positioned amongst what will be the chicken pen and no dig garden in clear view of our future back deck.
bogart and my family taken 31st march 2008
i'm always astounded that people can look at photo threads, baby announcements etc on forums and not even write one word!!! don't open the thread if you can't write anything i reckon.